Friday, December 14, 2007

Santa is an anagram for satan

It's that time of year again when we all go into significant debt to buy crap for people we don't like, and for which they don't need. How did this happen, and why would you want to prevent people from celebrating Santa style consumerism?

Ironically, it was puritan Christians arriving to America in 1492 who celebrated jolly old saint nic which today has become a secular holiday. I couldn't quite understand why primary schools and pre-schools in Australia would ban Santa Claus from visiting and putting up the traditional tree and decorations, quoting that it would cause offense to our newly arrived migrants. Now, I can understand that Christmas is a christian holiday, and not all people in Australia are Christians. However, saint nic is only loosely associated with Christianity, and in fact, if you ask any christian what they think of Santa they will say he is co-opting the real meaning and message of Christmas. So, why ban the guy? Last time I checked, he was one of the few people who saw past religion, race, gender and class. Doesn't Santa conceptually represent the most egalitarian person in the world today?

I think in Australia, if you're trying to create another cronulla, the best thing you can do, is ban Santa from the mainstream secular crowd.

For me personally, I think the whole Christmas consumerism is highly over-rated, but realistically, we're talking about banning a secular holiday. Go figure.

Then of course, there was Santa's highly controversial 'ho ho ho', which was deemed offensive to women. Again, last time I checked, there hasn't ever been a female Santa Claus, so saint nic has always been an offensive sexist bastard. Why change now? Personally, I always liked that about him, and his ability to scare the crap out of little kids.

I always wondered too, why is it when we're told to save energy and 'go green', all these western consumers are putting up Christmas lights sucking down thousands of kilowatts of energy? Combine this with our obligation to spend $30 per person on everyone we've ever known, and you've got the perfect breeding ground for the best consumer holiday for corporations EVER.

This year, my wife and I have decided, no Christmas presents for anyone; period. This includes people who tenaciously keep to handing out gifts even after we've begged them not too. This means of course, come Christmas day with the "out-laws" we have to graviously accept gifts while looking the giver in the eye and say " sorry, nothing for you". It's such a scummy thing to do, but in the long run, they get the message, and they too will stop handing out useless gifts.... eventually ending the cycle of needless consumerism.

"Christmas Consumerism" by Scotty Zuke, who has the down low....

It's that time of year again: The Annual Holiday-Themed Mass Consumption Month! Actually, that's not exactly correct. It used to be just a month, but every year the Christmas shopping season is stretched a bit further to boost sales. If you think about it, it's truly remarkable how we Americans are driven into a buying frenzy. The Christmas music is usually the first sign. Malls and stores will begin playing the music earlier every year, tricking the shoppers into thinking that the holiday season is quickly approaching. Besides that, it is scientifically proven that background music affects shopping habits, and I can't help but imagine that the music associated with Christmas is extremely powerful in increasing buying.

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